Sunday, July 17, 2016

World of the Lost, Session 9: To The Air

Some might call it a "River Horse", from here.
Mithra Katkar was unintimidated by the hippo across the waterway that snuffed and bellowed at him and his fellow explorers, and so decided he would deal with the creature through a magical spell that would cause a violation of time and space around both he and it, and perhaps kill it.

He directed his magics toward a nearby tree, which rose up great and tall near the river's edge. The effect of his magic was subtle and profound once it was noticed: a portion of the trunk of this tree could be seen existing where it ought to near the water, and also where it ought not: some fifty feet above the great hippo across the riverbank. Mithra directed this great hunk of wood to be above the hippo, its cast shadow drifting along the bank to stay above the beast.

Although his hope would be that this second trunk would plummet like a great weight and strike the creature dead once the magic had subsided, it instead vanished from the sky and reappeared as a woven wicker effigy at the exact location of the original; so precisely tightly wound that it instantaneously burst apart, causing an irritating shower of shredded material to shower all over them.

Frustrated at this miscalculation Mithra then attempted to call forth another enchantment, but this was less successful than the first one. Instead of manipulating the space around him his magic became deformed, and instead warped the interiors of his mind. He looked up, and instead saw the sky for what it truly was: a vast open hole like a mouth, ready to swallow him like dust up a nostril at any second with no notice. Horrified, he covered his face and closed his eyes, and he knew he could not bear to gaze upon such horrors ever again.

The hippo still paced, unharmed.


Seeing his new companion now suddenly brought to near apoplectica by the sight of the clear blue sky and hot sun, Edoni gazed upon the hippo, and saw that around its left tusk was some small glittering object. Taking a keen interest in this object he pulled out his great rifle and dropped to one knee, leveling it and taking aim at the great waddling beast. His shot blasted echoing through the humming jungle, and there was a great cloud of smoke from the barrel and a wet thud before a roar from the big gray beast as the bullet punched through its hide and a great red gout of blood spurted out into the waters.

The hippo, now enraged, charged into and under the water. Realizing his single bullet was not enough to slay the creature, Edoni dropped his rifle and began hurriedly muttering the incantations to call forth some abyssal creature that might be able to fight back against the great gray monster that would soon be upon them.

As the final words left his lips the sand before him began to shudder. A large round patch began to quiver then rise up, a mound forming and then shaking to scatter off a layer of mud to reveal a pinkish undulating landscape beneath. A tremendous brain lay there wriggling in the muck. It weighed perhaps some 200 pounds, and projected an aura of complete submission and servitude towards Edoni as the 4000 some-odd pound hippo erupted from the water like a roaring boulder and began charging towards them with it’s great gaping maw wide open.

Mithra, now twice horrified, ran towards the somewhat docile mound of flesh Edoni had called forth. He had in his repertoire another enchantment which he thought might save him: he placed an eldritch mark upon the damp flesh of the brain, and this mark caused it to function as a sort of portal. Mithra then stepped into the brain, appearing to walk down between the crack of the two lobes as if there were a tiny stairwell.

Mithra Katkar then existed in a very strange and uncomfortably moist place for a brief moment, but then was able to navigate towards and emerge from a doorway he had prepared inside his humble home for an occasion like this one.
Along the river's the grotesque brain was nearly made unconscious by the strain of Mithras passing, but managed to maintain itself just long enough for the massive body of the hippo to collide with it and then squish into and tumble through the very same obscure portal that had been opened by Mithra. It existed in an uncomfortably moist place for but a moment.

Mithra stepped out from the darkness of the room beyond the doorframe he had kept in preparation as a receptive portal, and then stretched his arms up victoriously and sighed with relief, the sour stink of the jungle still burning in his nostrils as the hippo shot out of that portal too, as a cannonball leaves the barrel.

It’s maw snapped shut on him, and Mithras chest and head were then both crushed and perforated by the great teeth of the creature, his body also battered and smashed as it thrashed him about the room, the walls of his home crumbling as the creature continued to rampage trapped in a space too small for it to ever enter naturally.

On the river's edge the large brain went still, then began to deflate and also sink down into the sand until it vanished.



Though many who would think to steal the great tribute of silver from the forbidden temple on the plateau do indeed manage to find their way towards it using both bravery and guile a great many also do not.

A man named Jonathan Dowe did travel to Nigeria, and would perhaps have made it were he not ended by a plague that reduced his innards to a brownish paste, and turned his bones into a crumbling powder.

The adventurer known as Robert Paulsonne perhaps would have too, were he not to have traveled to Akabo before Khirima, and had his flesh torn off and consumed by the murderous resurrected dead.

The Portuguese soldier called Juan Montoya was one who did indeed make it into the plateau, but now found himself without weaponry or companions as he sprinted through the jungle. He and his fellow adventurers had gone to sleep in the deep jungle, in the midst of a bit of serious drinking. From this Juan awoke disoriented, as his companions were assaulted by a crowd of ravenous baboons that were rapidly tearing them to ribbons. He ran, as fast as he could manage, having only time to throw on his armor he abandoned even his weaponry. He went towards the river, the only landmark he knew.

He came upon a strange scene, with much wailing and unearthly noise, and after parting the leaves and stepping forth he saw before him the two figures he would soon know as Gerald and Edoni, standing before a raft that would soon depart with the three of them after a brief introduction and proposal of companionship.



The three drifted down the river with a sting in their noses and eyes from the mauve and oleander haze in the air around them, sniffling while the river became more tumultuous. It then curved suddenly, and revealed that it was now rapidly rushing them towards a falls.

Quick thinking and quicker movement allowed them a chance to quickly shove the raft to shore, and secure it there before it might tumble off the edge. All immediate paths down to the water below were slick and wrapped with tangled roots, so the three of them decided to instead venture further into the jungle and see if there might be another way.

Edoni, Gerald, and Juan then stumbled through the stinking hazy jungle, hoping to find some egress, some way to the river below. At one point Gerald was overcome with a feverish vision, a beautiful island with a shining hill now existed in the center of the great lake near Khirima. On this island was She-Who-Never-Lives, and she knew who Gerald was, and she was aware of Gerald, and Gerald knew this too.

Their march through the jungle was suddenly halted, as the three were now faced with a new obstacle. The jungle around them was now withered and dead, with bare scab colored dirt below their feet. The pink haze now almost like smoke, and they saw ahead of them a great gouge in the earth, something like a sinkhole after a storm. It churned and bubbled with a thick red fluid, and this spewed and spit into the air and was the clear source of the corruption. They looked upon it perplexed, and unsure.

It was then that Gerald was the first to be transformed. He felt his skin become waxy and tight on his face and back, his body painfully dry and hot all over. His chest compressed, he felt his head drop and his body lower to the ground. With a sensation like knives being pushed through his toes thick claws now burst through the tips of shoes, and his shirt ripped in half as his feathery torso spread wider. There was both cracking and tearing as the twin wet wings spread upwards and outwards from either side of his spine towards the sky.

Edoni looked to his hands and saw them widen, then flatten, then spread and disappear. His arms thinned and widened, he saw the hairs on his forearm thicken and fray into coarse feathers. They moved backwards, and wider, they now rested differently on his body. His knees bent him down, and his armor split and fell off of him.

Juan saw this and so understood what the pain must have meant as his hands too began to melt and stretch, but as his new wings began to spread his overall anatomy began to fail him. This malformation was too severe for him, and blinded with stinking fumes and squealing with unbearable pain his lungs ceased to draw breath as his transformation completed, and he fell dead; unrecognizable as the man he once was.

Gerald and Edoni could each hardly recognize the other, but could see that each of them was still alive (albeit changed completely). The fog no longer burned their nostrils, and while their wretched, half-scaled and feathered bodies were crying out with soreness their new limbs felt understandable, even as natural as their old hands and legs had been.

After a few tentative swipes they then found themselves able to achieve flight, able to rise above the haze and look over the vast canopy of the jungle below.

They then realized a raft was no longer needed.




Sunday, July 3, 2016

World of the Lost, Session Eight: A Sudden Division

From Here.
Picking up almost precisely where Session 7 left off, in the wake of the execution of the slug the adventurers had received a strong urging to become prepared for sudden travel.

The abandoned boat of the hated dead slug had continued to drift upwards through the night as the adventurers slept, reaching the highest point it could go to a few scant hours before dawn. It hung there for only a few moments in the sky before the magics that held it there dissolved, and then the great ship fell to earth creating a great disaster when it collided with what was down below.

The Adventurers awoke in the early morning darkness confused by all the noise created by this, and the public reaction to it. They stumbled out into the predawn murk and trailed the scattered groups walking towards a gathered crowd, where all those gathered there gazed at the adventurers with obvious disdain and palpable disgust. A few mangled bodies could be seen, stacked near a great heap of rubble, a mess of stone and wood and sailcloth.

Gerald stepped up and began trying to pull rocks away, while the crowd started at him and murmured. He called out for them to help, even though he couldn't speak their language. Only a few would step up to aid him, and even then they kept a wide distance. The crowd stared as he exposed an arm beneath the wreckage, a very small one. A very young one.

Edoni kept his distance, fully conscious of the tension in the air. There were no outsiders left, save Dietrich and Gerald. He handed off his dogs to Gerald, hoping they might protect him, and then he and Dietrich hurried back towards the inn. Dietrich was shocks, irritated by the silent crowd who seemed most ungrateful for all they’d done, and was supremely irritated to find another crowd gathering outside their inn as he returned to it.

Gerald was suddenly confronted by a visibly furious man, flanked by several others. They wore no insignia of the military or guilds, they were commoners. The dogs growled and lunged as the man shouted at him, gesturing in a rage. Gerald pulled out a pistol, and leveled it towards him. The man backed down, and the crowd parted as Gerald turned to leave. Upon returning to the inn Gerald saw a crowd grown unruly, and as he entered the owner was pressing his companions to gather their things and leave: they were no longer welcome.

They proceeded to the barn to quickly load their things and be on their way, as the sounds outside became ever more foreboding. An imp was called forth by Dietrich to aid in this endeavor. It was a fully nude man only not even two feet tall, with the hairy horned head of a great goat atop the shoulders. It bleated to communicate during his period of servitude, and dutifully hid under a blanket to watch for intruders and thieves as instructed.

Though they worked as quickly as they could, they were soon interrupted by a group of soldiers who marched in with spears lowered as the sun finally rose. Just as they realized they could be in danger, but before they thought to retaliate, they noticed that the leader of these men was wearing a magnificent arm band in the image of a snake, which he pointed to as he approached them. He was with Odafin, he said, and they must trust him and come along and do as he said, and nothing else. They agreed to this, and then cloth sacks were pulled over their heads and ropes tied roughly around their arms.

With their wagon quickly loaded and towed behind them they were marched out past the jeers of the bloodthirsty crowd. A stinking rotten hunk of squash collided with Gerald's head, soaking him in a sour smelling juice and nauseating yellow pulp. He swore hell and vengeance on whoever had thrown it, should he ever find them. When the sacks were at last removed from their heads they were standing before Odafin, who as he was placing the arm-band back onto his own arm asked them terse and solemn. “Are you ready?” They said they were.

They were hidden under many heavy bags of grain, which were then covered with a blanket. They were told to be still, and totally silent as they left. They heard Khirima fade as they left it behind. They were up in the mountains, high above Khirima, before they were allowed to reveal themselves, and understand their surroundings. They approached the great waterfall, and went behind it. They were taken into a cave, down a hallway of rough wet stone. This stone became smooth deep within, and the walls glowed with strange markings. Some resembling the tiny creatures seen in water, others lines, others curves and dots. They were in a rounded chamber like the inside of a vase or bottle, with a wide hole in the center, a hole that angled downward like the side slope of a triangle into the darkness.

Odafin was there with them, with his most loyal guards. This is where the silver was taken, he said. It was thrown into that pit. This was what he had promised them, he had taken them to this place and he could do no more. He then left them, with their cart and their mules, standing in this most forbidden cave before a hole leading into unknown darkness. After some deliberation Dietrich leaped in first, then Edoni encouraged two of the mules to follow with encouragement from his hounds. Gerald sent the rest after with a discharge from his pistol, the great noise echoing through the chamber along with the mule brays and the clatter of their wagon as he slid down after them as well.

After some minutes spent sliding down each felt a distinct sensation, like hitting a heavy velvet curtain and continuing through, with an odd pressure in the ears and on the eyes. After several more minutes the severity of the angle decreased, and each then realized they were on a new kind of surface, it gripped them in a way that felt sticky without having any sort of slime, and they also realized that it moved, gradually and always towards some mysterious endpoint that could not be seen. They each lit candles in turn, revealing smooth walls like the chamber above as they walked towards each other. They gathered their scattered animals and possessions, and once together then spent hours sitting in this strange moving darkness, winding along an unknown path only eventually seeing a very distant point of light.


It was early evening when they emerged. They saw a vast jungle before them, and the rocky walls of what was surely the plateau for once behind them. It was hot, much hotter than it was outside. The air was thick with wetness and humidity, like putting one's face over a tea kettle after being in cool evening air. There were distant sounds that were sometimes familiar, other times not. Wails perhaps, roars.

They were in a wide, flat area, and the ground was very flat bare earth. There was a river nearby. Across that river was some great beast, like the one they saw inside the library. They approached it cautiously, but it took notice of them and fled into the jungle. The jungle itself was also permeated with a noxious, pinkish haze or mist. There was a stinging, acidic smell in the air.

They returned their attention to the ground around them, they were coins here and there, silver coins. A good amount, several hundred, but no vast fortune like what they knew had been given. It must have been taken, surely, but there were no tracks to be seen around them besides their own.

They explored further, and saw that the jungle around them was coated in a thick cloud of spiders webs, all populated by spiders larger than an outstretched hand. Some ate birds. Near the ground in one, thankfully far from any spiders, was found a piece of parchment. They pulled this down, and unfurled it. It was a map, like the map they had of the kingdom. This one was different though, as it had landmarks drawn on the usually blank plateau. These marks looked somewhat like an image of a skull, and it also showed that the river before them wound through most of the region. They thought they might use this to their advantage.

At the edge of the river Dietrich called forth for a demon, and the call was answered: out from the jungle there came a humming sound, before the creature emerged. Held aloft by six great legs like those of a grasshopper, a squid-like cranium with six identical and lovely muscled male arms around the circumference of it.
Under the control of Dietrich and bound to this reality until the completion of a defined task, Dietrich willed for it to construct for them a fine raft from the local vegetation. The creature silently accepted this command, and then crawled and clambered into and out of the jungle for the rest of that day building it, stripping bark, bending branches, and winding vine into string until a fine and sturdy raft appeared before them complete with stout poles for guidance and navigation. The creature walked into the thick vegetation once again when it had finished, this time disappearing from the world forever.

That next morning they departed on their infernally created raft, and began drifting lazily down the murky river ahead. In an area thick with overhead canopy Edoni was overcome by a searing pain, emanating from his neck, while Gerald and Dietrich saw a thick tube or tendril of some kind affix itself to his exposed neck. They in turn heard hissing as they were surrounded by their own snakes, which all hung down from the limbs of the trees above. A mule was felled in a single bite from one, frothing at the mouth and falling down dead while another brayed out in overwhelming pain, and Edoni felt his body began to be ravaged by poison.

Dietrich blasted on in twain with his pistol, and Gerald then unleashed a roaring belch of pink flame from deep within his throat, and it enveloped all those serpents around them, their burnt bodies falling like smoldering unwound rope into their raft. Once certain they were safe they stripped the dead mules of any provisions and kicked their poisoned bodies into the water.


Some hours later along a muddy bank was a rather large specimen of the beasts they saw along the lake near Khirima, a great crocodile. Beyond this threatening but mundane thing was something much stranger, and more intriguing: a great sculpture of a strange amorphous form posed seemingly triumphant atop a mound of dead and mangled human bodies. Atop the base of this sculpture were heaped even more bodies: the carcassess of various animals in a range of states of decay, once colorful birds, small mammals, primates, and reptiles. Old blood and viscera poured down the sides, staining it from top to bottom.

Taking an interest in this odd monument and wishing to investigate it further Gerald and Dietrich sought to remove the crocodile. They withdrew their respective firearms and blasted the obstructive lizard, both of their payloads landing  true and punching past its armor of scales and causing it noticeable wounds.

These were not enough to end the great beast, and were quite enough to provoke it. With alarming speed it launched itself  forward into the water, sending out a great splash and wake, then in the briefest second after rising up over the edge of the raft before Dietrich. Its’ great jaws were open wide as if to welcome him inside, each extending beyond him. It’s lower jaw could be seen positioned before his back and the upper jaw in front of his stomach in the instant before they snapped shut with a terrific force, snapping his spine like an old broomstick and tearing down through the muscular wall of his belly like a sheet of wet burlap, the two halves of it’s dental structure to come into contact once again with the various layers of Dietrich compressed between them.

The crocodile then lurched back and whipped its head skyward with a twist, fully separating the upper half of Dietrich from the lower. His legs and lower torso fell forward into the river with a splash while his upper half was flailed about gracelessly in the air as its innards spilled down and out to join the legs in that same current of dirty water.

With the lizards pale belly exposed Edoni then assaulted it with offensive magic: a malicious energy in the form of a pure white line like a rope of hot glass that emerged out from the depths of the jungle in a perfectly straight trajectory, puncturing the thick hide of the creature instantly and reducing its heart to wet ash before emerging out the underside of it, leaving a hole large enough to reach an arm through cleanly. The now lifeless body of the beast continued to drift backwards, propelled by inertia, and landed on the banks near the mysterious statue.

It is unknown how long Dietrich remained conscious beyond the moment of bisection, but he was indisputably dead upon his landing on the shore with his now dead assailant still clamped, albeit loosely, onto his upper half.

After a moment of shock Edoni and Gerald then quickly pushed the raft to shore and disembarked. They gathered up the wayward legs of Dietrich and brought them nearer to his body, which they removed from the crocodile's jaws. They then stripped those two halves of their former companion of all valuables as these dead portions no longer had any need for them.

After this had been attended to they then began sifting through the funereal heaps of animals on the plinth of the odd sculpture, and among the moldering scraps Edoni found an artifact that emanated a magic of some kind: An elephant's tusk, a small one, sharpened to a needle-like point and covered in delicate and mystical etchings. Affixed to, wound and draped on it, was the spinal cord of a snake.

As a means of testing the effects of this tool Edoni strode over to the body of Dietrich, and pressed the tip of it into his flesh and dragged it, causing some partially coagulated blood to spill out.

As this blood spilled Edoni felt a force begin to act upon him, at first very subtle but then unmistakeable: the barrel of his gun, the gunshot in his pouch, the tip of his spear, and even the coins he carried with him were being pushed away from the body of Dietrich as if being compelled to by an unseen hand.

He stepped away from this odd phenomenon, and pierced the flesh of the crocodile to see if it might be repeated. At first he felt nothing, and thought nothing had happened, until he saw that the dead lizard seemed to lie heavier on the damp ground it did the moment before he cut it. It began to press into the mud noticeably, and then seemed to sink as its increasing heaviness pressed it under the surface of the earth until it was covered, leaving only a sort of dent after it was finally gone. Now feeling a greater pull on their metals from the body of Dietrich, the two then returned to their raft and continued on down the winding river, their dead companion a new addition to the heaps around the statue.

Mithra Katkar had long practiced the mystical arts, and had gained a modicum of skill. Through this practice he had learned to travel great distances in an instant, and perform other miraculous feats that defied the common boundaries and limitations of dimensional space for many others in the human world. Despite his confidence in his ability he was ultimately a student, not a master, and so was not immune to error. He was most grateful to have been carrying his pistol when a mistake in his sorcery had caused him to emerge not from the doorway he had intended to step forth from in Italy, but instead from a door-like arrangement of branches in a hot and balmy jungle much unlike the landscapes he had become accustomed to in the northern regions of India. This place was filled with unfamiliar noises and even an odd and offensive smell that burned his nostrils.



He was not comforted by recognizing the bulky form of an aggressive hippo lurking along the banks on the other side of the river he was near, but was quite pleased to notice a pair of men quickly landing a simple raft on the shore nearby seemingly (and wisely) avoiding the hippo.

Gerald and Edoni were quite relieved to discover that this unexpected interloper could speak to them in English, and this made explaining where precisely he had found himself much easier. He realized he was quite remarkably far from Italy, and would be in need of a great deal of money where he ever to get himself there, or back home, and so agreed to join Gerald and Edoni on their quest for silver. United by this common goal, the three of them then looked towards the yawning maw of the hippo, their common obstacle, its beady eyes fixated on them as it paced the opposite bank of the river.


Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Our Poet Lauerate of SLÜGS

The winner of the poets-only SLÜGS lottery has been decided: Wizard Lizard, who entered using this fine sizain, meant to evoke the tapering form of a shell:

Crawling along my skin
Cool through the summer breeze
Both naked we begin
To jerk and shake and sleaze
You provide all I need
With your slimy slick tail

Your mantle is hard
The tail underneath
I crave and reguard
I will be your sheath
If you show me how
(I can't really tell)

What's that you say?
Hermaphrodite?
I love risqué
And you can bite

What are you
doing to me
that hurts too

Please stop
No more

Slügs

The runner up by means of being the second contestant was Skullface Q, who provided "The Worm Quest":

I cant walk if my legs are cut
Cant say why the king eats mud.

For every footprint, a trail of death.
For every spell, a loss of breath.

Nothing chains me to daylight, as i see my life drains under this moonlight.
Screwed demon, filthy slut

Come here to try my steel and win a copy of slugs.

Although I had only but one prize to give I thank you both equally for participating! SLÜGS may have touched all of us, but SLÜGS should truly touch you both the most of all.

Friday, June 24, 2016

World of the Lost, Session Seven: A Performance of the Law

Last session they didn’t make it into the plateau after all, and things were a bit brief, because a player was unable to make it. We had to reschedule the next session too, but then that one ended up getting cancelled. In any event, we’ll be back to the regular schedule this weekend.

The Adventurers were joined by a new player, but her first character died during creation (via a delightful Playtest rule).

There was a French woman named Edith, who traveled to Khirima. There was another too, named Meredith, who had also come to Khirima. She had come for the same reasons that Edith had, she was drawn by rumors of the forbidden temple, and a fortune in silver to be taken from within it. The two would never meet, however, as Meredith was torn apart by an unseen beast on the Savanna before she had ever laid eyes upon the city.

Edith was alone. She had arrived with a small group of companions, but these had been taken from her quite shortly after their arrival in the marketplace. After all but she had been caught gawking at a particular contingent of armed men, a distinct out one of the many moving through the city, they were taken away to an unknown but presumably grisly fate for violating this most important taboo.

After some wandering directionless through the marketplace Edith laid eyes on a much more horrible sight than the sudden loss of her companions, dragged away by surly guardsmen. A great and grotesque slug creature that stood 9 feet tall with a toothy shark like maw seemed to be holding court in the marketplace. Despite its indisputable loathsomeness it was surrounded by a significant line women and men, some clutching large sacks of what seemed to be grains and other dried goods.

Both nauseated and intrigued, she crept closer to listen in on what these people could possibly be saying to this nasty beast. She overheard as it negotiated sale prices, of all things, in a gurgling voice. Strangely enough, though she heard the people around it speaking in the various native tongues, the creature seemed to respond to them in eloquent French, with a perfect accent. After brief negotiations with each person who had gathered it then directed some nearby servants to pay them for their various goods, and these were then carried over and set next to a pen of very well-fed cattle.




Edoni, Gerald, and Dietrich walked the streets of the marketplace, towards the hated slug, but noticed something unusual once they arrived at its tent. They had noted a precipitous drop in the population of outsiders in the city of Khirima in the weeks since they had arrived, so a certain woman in the crowd was most conspicuous. She spoke French when they approached her, and they asked if she might join them as a translator. She agreed to this, and now the four of them turned their attention to the mutuyally despised thing before them. Gerald boldly walked up, ignoring the waiting line, and tried to speak with it. Before he had scarcely opened his mouth the creature shifted its shiny black eyes towards him and croaked at him, asking if he could please, kindly wait his turn with the others. He could do nothing to refuse this simple request.

Dietrich had grown tired of the slugs legal and social dominance, and then approached the waiting cattle. He thought he might withdraw his rapier and pierce the heart of one as a sacrifice to the powers of darkness, so he might summon forth a creature to do his bidding and slaughter the stupid, ugly beast before him. While Dietrich could imagine all this quite vividly he could not compel his body to move to do this, and so violate the property of another.

The laws of Khirima did not comment so directly upon the mere act of casting a spell, however. Dietrich spat out the secret words and then out of the sky descended a tiny speck at great speed, which as it grew closer was seen to be a pair of filthy, stinking clamshells, and when these opened there was a tremendous growl of thunder and a lingering mildew stink that bellowed out of them. A searing jagged line of lightning appeared, shooting into the earth from between those two shells. It remained there, connecting a spot on the earth to the interior of the clam like a rippling line of white hot glass in the roasting afternoon sun. The cattle immediately began to panic, and the crowds scattered, and ran off in every direction away from this bizarre sight.

Dietrich had with this summoning at long last called up something over which in this universe he had influence and a distinct authority. With great satisfaction he told it to go forth and kill the wretched slug beneath the canopy. Yet it would not move to violate the prohibition of murder.

After gazing upon the clam and electricity the slug approached Dietrich, somewhat bemused.

“Ah, how very different! Is that thing yours?”

Gerald had not fled, once he was certain Dietrich had achieved control over the demon from the sky. He approached the slug once again and tried to get its attention a second time. The slug turned to face him now, and at this moment Dietrich then quickly pulled out the forbidden book of Necromancy given to him by the Edo priest, intended for use in a different scam, and then stuck it on the slugs lower body. It was held there by slime. The slug then turned back to him and brushed it off with disdain. Dietrich then asked a question of his own: Is that book yours? The slug denied it.

Drawn by the sudden chaos of the crowds a group of guards arrived with their spears drawn and pointed. They walked towards the hideous nine foot slug, preternatural levitating clam, and supremely irritated German and were wholly unsure of what precisely ought to be done, although all were quite sure some sort of crime must have been committed by at least one of the things which was there. Edoni moved closer to them, and then whispered “Look, it dropped that book!”, while pointing towards the slug. The guards then moved in, eager to investigate the most despised slug. It continued protesting the accusation Dietrich had thrown at it.

“That book is not mine! Perhaps it is yours, you are the one accompanied by floating monsters!”

One guard had approached that floating monster, and slowly moved his spear-point close to it, closer and closer, finally close enough to provoke it the electrical energy of its lightning tongue to dance off his spearpoint and onto every bit of metal on his body, and all through his flesh, blood, and other liquids. In a sudden flash the stench of burning hair and skin filled the air and the guard fell over, his skin cracked and crackling with burns, his eyeballs evaporated from the sockets, and his heart exploded inside of his ribcage. Edith ran up to him and plainly saw there would be no way to revive him. Dietrich dismissed the creature then: the lightning ceased, its shell snapped shut, and then continued to snap shut past closing causing it to vanish from the world.
The slug moaned.

“I know nothing of magic! Perhaps it is you who is the sorceror?  I am a simple merchant! People will speak of my honesty!”

The remaining guards now pointed their spears towards at Dietrich, but also the slug as well, and began to close in. His plan not going as imagined, Dietrich then attempted to fling himself into the air, and away from trouble, using the a spell stolen from the cult leading Magic-User they had encountered recently on the savanna. Unfortunately he had not adequately prepared this spell for use, and it went terribly awry.

Instead of flinging Dietrich into the air his spell was drawn to another object that his magic had worked upon before: the great boat which had carried the slug and his servants through the sky. It launched upwards from the docks and hurtled towards the marketplace, its sudden shadow barely evacuated before it suddenly stopped mere inches from the ground and bobbed in place once again. With the guards once again bewildered and distracted, the slug slithered towards it and spoke again.

“Ah, how very interesting. I had thought this was depleted of all magic! I think I might leave this place after such rudeness, though I was becoming quite fond of it.”

Gerald then spoke up, and talked highly of the wondrous treasures of the land of Japan, perfect for hurling off the sides of ships, as well as their most intricate systems of law and etiquette. He could not be sure if this piqued the interest of the disgusting creature, however, as the guards gathered their wits once again, and marched the bastard slug. his retinue, and Dietrich also off to the judges, leaving Gerald and Edoni with the boat and fearful audience of onlookers.

The slug chuckled at Dietrich as they walked away, and gestured towards the Greeks who were bound to it by law.

“Oh, haven’t you got anyone to testify about your trustworthiness?”




Gerald saw that the Necromancer's book had been taken by the guards. He boarded the ship, but found it as empty as they had left it back at the docks with only a few scraps of seafaring equipment strewn about the deck. Edoni, meanwhile, observed the still-smoking corpse of the guard while Edith held his two dogs. He might be able use these remains as components in a spell of his own, but he instead had another plan.

Edoni had with him a canopic jar, a tool for use in his forbidden necromantic practices. He boarded the ship and then quietly placed this jar in a corner of the deck where it might be noticed easily, or at least pointed out with little difficulty at the right moment. The people of Khirima were too frightened of the mystical boat to board it, so he was able to do this without interference.




Dietrich and slug were stood before a tribunal of severe and humorless judges, one of which was familiar to Dietrich. Unsure of how to properly interact with the legal system Dietrich immediately harangued the slug, daring it to reveal its true name, speaking of how it dominated the Greeks with it through the use of magic, was certainly a demon, could not explain where it had even come from, and could not be trusted. Dietrich, however, was a champion of the Edo faith, and was covered in the scars to prove it!

The judges placed the two in cages once this ceased, and then convened among themselves before they returned and gave their judgement: No Outsider could be trusted after the discovery of a Necromantic tome. A quest must be performed, a wicked beast slain to prove their honesty and purity, and to reveal the identity of the wicked sorcerer through unwillingness to cooperate.




The weary and confused guards laid eyes on the jar as the slug began to board it's floating vessel, all too happy to cooperate by contributing use of the fine ship to the quest for innocence. With pure, cold hatred in their hearts and eyes they smiled as they surrounded it. It immediately began to blurt out, furious and scared.

“No, this is false! It is not mine! This is conspiracy! It is not true! No! no!”

It went along with them though, passive as a beaten down dog, as they lead it back to the same tribunal of judges. The jar was presented to the judges as the slug whined, then screamed in protest. The sentence was passed down immediately: death, and as soon as was possible. The familiar judge looked at Dietrich and smiled, after delivering the sentence.

The slug continued bellowing as it approached, and then lay down to lower its head onto the slab of execution, face up from the deeply axe carved surface stained with countless liters of spilled guilty blood.

“Lies! All lies!”, it cried out steadily and uselessly as the executioners approached.

There were three of them, all very large men carrying equally large and wickedly sharp axes. They arranged themselves around it very carefully, two on one side and one on the other. They stood so that they would each have ample room to get in strong swings on a similar area of the beasts body decided to be the neck, a spot just a bit below the mouth. The slugs voice was interrupted then by the beginning of a then nearly ceaseless rain of axe blows, its’ words turning into wordless squeals and screams as its head was gradually removed over the next quarter of an hour, falling into the dust with a wet thud. After this its body was chopped into pieces and burnt, the crowd jubilant to see it be finally destroyed.

The judge found Dietrich, and thanked him profusely.

“The letter of the law has been truly followed this day! You are one of the good ones!”
Dietrich then implored him to return the book that had been found, as he had sworn to destroy it for the Edo temple. It was delivered to him in a satchel shortly thereafter, much to his relief.




Gerald and Edith returned to the market, hoping to perhaps claim the fallen slugs orphaned goods for themselves. When they arrived they were disappointed to see a number of guards gathering up everything once known to be the slugs as the conquest and property of the King. They also saw that the slugs boat had begun to slowly rise upwards into the air, and was now too high to be boarded.

In an attempt to provide a distraction for thievery Edith began making eyes at one of the guards, who was then quite taken by her exotic personality. He offered her a chance to meet with him by the mysterious watery Tomb of an Unknown Sorcerer later that day, but Edoni interrupted this invitation to a tryst with the fact that the Tomb had been destroyed. Unshaken, the guard offered instead a chance to gaze upon the most wondrous Fountain of Ants instead, but Edoni dispirited him by describing how that too had been destroyed. Remarking on the prevalence of bad omens this represented, the guard was then hurried away by his captain. Edith then tried to snatch a bag of silver from the cart, but as soon as she lay her hands on it the guard swatted her hand away with scorn, angrily spitting out that he felt foolish to have ever trusted an Outsider.

The streets had a more jubilant air than had been common lately, due to the slaying of the universally disliked slug, making the walk towards the Merchants Guild a very pleasant one. Odafin quite happily received them, and gave a healthy portion of silver as a clear token of his appreciation. After these pleasantries he sternly told them that they must soon be taken to the Temple as he had promised, as even the usual things were becoming more difficult in Khirima with every passing day. They must leave in the morning, he said, or not at all.

Some of them hurried to the market, and they gathered mules and carts and rations. They acquired weaponry, and numerous goods and tools to attempt to ensure safe travel to an unknown place. At the inn, meanwhile, Gerald experimented with the strange liquids he had recovered from the slime pits in the world of Vilnid.

He had five semi-permeable spheres before him, and each was filled with a strange liquid. Each of them smelled of something, and looked different from the other.

There was the amber-colored sphere that smelled like the world after a much needed rain, there were red droplets suspended throughout it. He tasted it, and he felt sentimental for the comforts of hearth and home.

Next was the cinnamon smelling one, made of a swirling green and red. When he tasted it he was unsure of what it did, but when he spoke this aloud Edith swore his voice had emerged from a few feet before him instead of his mouth.

He mixed these two together, this new liquid creating a smell like wet cinnamon. It was now a suspension of red and green marble droplets in amber. He tasted this, and when he spoke his voice echoed out from where he stood just a moment before.

After this was an orange liquid with the perfume of fresh, ripe strawberries. After a quick taste Edith saw his face rearrange, his nose on his forehead, eyes askew with his mouth near an ear. He added this to the pinkish slime that was covered in a brown crust. It smelled of chalk, and when he tasted it his lips went numb. Edith saw this was because they had turned to stone for but an instant. The resulting mixture was a gradient of pink and orange beneath a brown layer of crust.

He drank up the last one, a metallic smelling blue liquid that sloshed about like it were much heavier than it was. It drizzled slowly down his throat like cold syrup, nearly causing him to cough. For the next half hour or so he was physically unable to move even one inch from the place he was, except for some limited vertical movement of his feet along a perfectly straight vertical path. Once this had passed he was satisfied with his experimentation, and turned to the scrolls they had gathered from the Living Library, and once Edoni and Dietrich had returned they devoted their last waking hours to them.

After many hours of study it seemed to be all mostly useless trivia, however. There catalogues of ephemera, manuals of floral astrology, directions on fashionable eldritch attire, and mystical architectural follies. They had found the most useful portion before, a method to make a Salve of Invulnerability. This required materials they could not acquire, and processes they could not perform, and with such little time left before they would depart to the Temple they instead opted to finally lay down for rest, prepared as best they could for their long awaited departure at dawn.




Saturday, June 18, 2016

Pöems for SLÜGS

I managed to get ahold of two copies of SLÜGS today.

While no person needs two copies of SLÜGS, all persons should have at least one copy of SLÜGS. For this reason I am going to give away a copy of SLÜGS, by lottery.

Entrance to this lo
ttery will be open until the 26th of June, 12:01AM PST. A winner will then be selected at random and I will mail this winner their copy of SLÜGS for free, once they provide me with an address. That’s right, I'll pay for shipping. If I didn't this would just be shopping, wouldn’t it?

The Rules of the Lottery:
This lottery will be open only to those who honor the SLÜGS of SLÜGS through the noble and refined art of pöetry, and the creation of a pöem.

To enter yourself in this lottery demonstrate your ability as a pöet of SLÜGS in the comments below. In this comment give the title of your pöem, it’s rhyme scheme, and most importantly the text of the pöem itself. Make sure that your comment (or the account attached to it) has a way for me to get ahold of you in case you are chosen by the fickle hand of fate as the winner.


A SLÜGS Sönnet is the standard form for a pöem, but any correctly executed SLÜGS Sëstinas will be accepted, and also likely honored and admired all through the hallowed halls of the OSR. Furthermore, Simple Häiku will not qualify, but Hän-käsen will be sufficient. An Öde or a Ghäzäl would also be perfectly acceptable. Off rhymes and clever umlauts are also acceptable when creating a pöem.
I'll update this pöst once the winner is chosen. Now, off to your pöetry chambers!

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Deformation in Subterranea: the Gnomus

There will be landscapes like this one, from here.

I was preparing for a game I ran last year when I learned about the Gnomus. I wanted to have some kind of familiar mythical being in the adventure I was writing up, but I wanted to reimagine it and take it in a different direction so might be a surprise instead of just another whatever it usually was. For some reason or another I thought about looking into Gnomes, and after some research was very happily surprised by what I learned about them. The original ideas behind them were delightfully insane.

What were eventually called “Gnomes” were first called “Gnomus” when first described by the great and learned philosopher, physician, and occultist Philippus Aureolus Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim, also called Paracelsus, in the 16th century. He described a number of other beings that existed analogously to humans throughout the world. The Gnomus lived in the earth, but there were also the Undina, Sylvestris, and Vulcanus in the other various elements as well. He described what they all looked like, their usual personalities, and even a bit of their social structures, and what they sometimes sought from mankind, and thought of them as well.

So I created something from those ideas of Paracelsus, and I made a dark underground place to put it in. I threw in some other historical figures and a grim situation to round things out as well. Unfortunately the game fell apart, and I never got to use all of my materials. This old post about cave passages was actually a part of that, but there’s a whole lot more I never got around to presenting. I’ve been polishing it up now for quite a while though, since I couldn’t get it out of my head, and it’s now growing into something.


It’s called “Deformation in Subterranea” (DIS, for short). It’s an adventure set in England, around the time of the dissolution of the monasteries, or even after that. There will be ways to be suddenly transformed in the dark by unknowable and unseen forces, a number of possible encounters with the mysterious Gnomus, and even hostile centipedes which will surely interfere with the pursuit of all the earthly treasures found within.

Once it’s ready I’ll be putting it out into the world as a complete product (and before then I'll be play testing it), but until then I’ll be sharing pieces of it. Here’s something about the Gnomus, to give you a bit of an idea of what they’ll be like.

The Gnomus lives in the same world as humans do, but they live in it differently. Earth stops or slows human movement, but it is as “chaos” for the Gnomus, and they pass through it like we do the air, which is our chaos. The form the water takes for them is as the earth, which provides food for them as the earth does for us as it also stops their movement. What we’ve felt as fire is their water, with the vast burning underworld being like oceans for them. Air is their fire, which gives them a light that is visible through any minerals, as the sun is seen through any air for us. Through the transparency of the earth around them the world is lit with the glow of thin air through the fissures and cracks of the earth, and they swim through underground infernos and walk through stone to seek out flavorful pools water. Vast underground aquifers form for them what would be like fertile hills and valleys for us, then. They know of Humans, but Humans are seen by them only when they enter the earth for mining, or when they live inside caves. Gnomus could not tolerate the overwhelming brightness of the atmosphere beyond that, nor for them the roaring heat of the atmosphere. Humans to their eyes are a miraculous blend of both earth and water, we are seen carrying thirst-quenching vessels of fire through glowing stalks of brightness. The craft of mining to the Gnomus would seem like us gathering pieces of the sky, like carving up a breeze and carrying it away.
Humans know of them also, but the human mind sees humanity wherever it goes, as when it sees faces in trees, and so our image of the Gnomus is perhaps a great distortion. They are seen by us as kinds of tiny almost-men which are only two hands tall,  near-transparent and so only barely visible when they peek out from the stones, and gaze at us in the hot fog of oxygen with their small faces wrinkled with awe, wonder, and envy.

Their envy is because humans are known by them as the things which carry an eternal spark of life, a soul. This theory has been proposed by Gnomic scholars, based upon the observation that while single humans do not last for long (or are gone when the air comes down on them in mine collapses) they are always replaced by others, while Gnomus have always been as they are, and no new Gnomus have appeared (unlike the humans, who have multiplied). It is proposed that Gnomus might not exist forever as well, and although the notion confuses them and causes great dread many Gnomus feel it to be true.


It is rumored among the Gnomus that one might find a way to live forever, as the humans do, if the proper union could be achieved with one. This is only a folktale for them, so only the most courageous or mad of Gnomus might approach humans and seek to speak with them about this, but it does indeed occur. It is also true that a union between man and Gnomus can in fact be achieved, in very certain circumstances.