Thursday, January 24, 2019

Spell: For The Movement of Stones

This spell requires two solid stones.

The stones must be the same weight, as closely as can be measured by the Magic-User when the spell is cast.

The two stones must be of a different kind, at a base enough level that there is no easy argument to be had about their difference. Some dust their stones with pigments, others use different quarries.

The stones may be changed. They can be polished, scraped, chipped, and chiseled as much as is needed. A pair of sculptures could be used as easily as two natural specimens. They may be drawn upon, marked, and altered in any imaginable way. Things may even be attached to them. As long as their weights are matching when cast, all is well.

The location chosen must be known to the Magic-User, but they do not need to have seen it. As long as the image they have of this place in their mind is true the spell will work. If it is something they see now it is irrelevant if that place is in motion, or changing in other ways. It can be living. Distance is meaningless. With clarity of mind any site is possible, if the mind sees it true. A faulty mental image is, however, a hazard.

When this spell is cast the two stones must also be known by the Magic-User, with the same lack of limitations on distance and the same correctness of location required.

The spell takes effect instantly. One of the stones, as chosen by the Magic-User, is the Stone-in-Motion. It travels in as straight a line as can be drawn to the chosen destination. It can change direction instantly, with no loss in velocity, if this is needed.

It travels at terminal speed, never stopping or slowing. It never makes any contact with things strong enough to harm it and end its travel. All else is plowed right through.

It can come as close as an eyelash is thick without touching, but when it reaches its destination it touches it with full impact, as if dropped from the top of the sky.

The second stone is the Inert. It must remain in exactly the same place as it was when the spell was cast. As long as it does not move in any perceptible way the Stone-in-Motion will continue movement until reaching the chosen destination.

If the Inert Stone is moved, the Stone-in-Motion will instantly comply with physics and plummet down as demanded by local gravity. If it has reached its destination already there is no effect, as the spell has already ended.

A living body, even one trying to be still, is always in subtle movement. The spell cannot be cast safely if the Inert Stone is being held.

The Inert Stone does nothing to indicate the Stone-in-Motion has reached the end of its path.


This spell is potentially miscast if the stones are not of the same weight, the secondary stone is not truly still at the time of casting, or if the destination is not actually truly "known" by the caster. The Referee should never, ever warn an Adventurer of a potential miscast if they have not made sure themselves, as it is their responsibility to take precautions.

1. The Stone-in-Motion does nothing, the Inert stone does the same. The Magic-User is instantly flung towards the intended destination as if they were the Stone-in-Motion. They cannot be stopped, and will ultimately collide at terminal velocity.

2. Both stones become Stones-in-Motion, travel to their intended destination, and without making contact with that destination, instantly begin a linked orbit around it at terminal velocity. The stones are half the distance they traveled apart, one across from the other, and the smallest possible distance above the intended destination. They will not change their path to avoid any obstacles, and will not stop their orbit unless destroyed.

3. The Stone-in-Motion does nothing. A different stone in the vicinity is propelled instead. Roll 1d6 to determine its size. 1 is a thumbnail pebble, 6 is a boulder large enough to crush a bull. It comes from the ground below the caster. If the Inert Stone is moved its motion ceases, as usual.

4. Until the Stone-in-Motion reaches its destination, the Inert Stone and everything capable of perceiving the Inert Stone is unable to move, or be moved, by anything. This is something like being frozen in time, "paused" as if in a video from the perspective of your own agency. You do not starve, and need not breathe, but you do exist and can be tampered with. Once the Stone-in-Motion arrives at its destination a Magic Save is required to free yourself, and move again.

5. The Stone-in-Motion instantly splits into two pieces, then four, sixteen, thirty-two, and so on to travel in infinitely many directions at once. This can be like a powder horn exploding, or a barrel of gunpowder, depending on the size of the stone.

6. A piece of the destination equal in weight to the Inert Stone is detached from the whole and pulled towards the Inert Stone at terminal velocity. It cannot be stopped.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Spell: To Make Things Hidden

This spell allows the Magic-User to hide an object outside of all human perception until it is retrieved.

This spell can only be cast in places not being touched by the human hand, natural areas not maintained by civilization. If the world of man can be seen from a place, it is not a place this spell should be cast in.

This object must be placed on the ground before the Magic-User, and the Magic-User must be able to perceive the whole form of every object that will be hidden by the spell.

If you are able to see another area already being "used" for this spell from where you are, then you are not in an area suitable for this spell to be cast in. Note that there are no visual signs that this spell has been cast anywhere it has been.

A single object could be one silver coin, a ruby worth thousands, a priceless crown made of precious stones and metals, a sword in its specific hilt, or a single living creature with closed eyes.

To cast the spell the Magic-User must go into a state of trance, with closed eyes, for one turn for every object that is to be hidden. They must not be interrupted, and no human eyes may observe the spell as it is cast.

At the end of this trance their eyelids are snapped open to see the thing vanished, with only a fading negative impression in their field of view. From then on it is safe, preserved exactly as it was when it was hidden, for as long as it is left.

The object hidden in this way is outside of time and the rules of the physical world. It is also nearly outside the reach of magic. Any spell that would show where the object may be, give directions towards it, or even confirm its existence can be made to fail. If a spell like this is cast, the Magic-User may roll a Save to prevent it from working.

To retrieve a hidden object a human must return to the place where the spell was cast. They must wait there for one turn, with eyes closed, until their eyelids are snapped open. The object will be lying there before them. Anyone may retrieve the thing hidden. To fall asleep in this place would call back a thing hidden.

Living things affected by this spell feel nothing to indicate what has happened. If asleep they are asleep, and if awake they feel no time pass until they are retrieved. If a human were to lie under the leaves of a tree with dappled sun hitting their face as this spell was cast, to be hidden by this spell and retrieved 1000 years later, it would happen between the twitches of a leaf in the breeze. Their clothes would lie there empty for some time, in the shade.

Miscast Table

This spell can be miscast using the typical rules in Vaginas are Magic! and Eldritch Cock, and also by violating the various rules above.

All miscasts of this spell affect only the retrieval of hidden objects. It can be known that a miscast occurred when an object is hidden, but the effect should not be rolled for until the object is retrieved.

  1. The object that was supposed to be hidden is now simply gone. When the eyes of the retriever snap open there is nothing except a fading negative impression in the field of view.
  2. An equivalent object vanishes, as if maintaining a kind of balance. This is a very basic equivalency, the nearest most similar thing is simply gone forever. If retrieving a crown someone will lose a hat. If retrieving a person someone new will be lost.
  3. When the retrievers eyes snap open they cease to exist, and the object is in their place.
  4. The object retrieved is a weak imitation of  the thing hidden. It appears the same in every way, but falls apart once under stress while fulfilling its purpose. If it was a key it will break in the lock. If it was a person it will be messier.
  5. A spawning Mimesis Pest has been retrieved. This is a creature that has a body which looks exactly like the object, and functions in the same ways, but is in truth something else in the midst of a breeding cycle. Hidden on its form is an even number of many-jointed appendages, mandibular mouth-parts, and tiny but numerous pairs of eyes. In 6 days it will die, drying up like a beetle shell, becoming just as fragile then crumbling.

    Until then, whenever the object is used (for some intended purpose, not merely touched) roll 2d6. If an 8 or higher is rolled the Mimesis Pest becomes agitated. It viciously bites the user for 1d4 damage, if they fail a Save, before attempting to flee them.

    A Mimesis Pest moves at 1/3rd the speed of a person, and can move on vertical and upside-down surfaces as if they were normal ground. It has an armor of 16, and only 1 HP.

    While it is spawning, every day there is a 1 in 6 chance that 1d6 non-natural objects near the Mimesis Pest will become one. Only object with rigid forms like weaponry, coins, books, and wooden boxes, are at risk. Cloaks and tarps are not.

    Objects that are ever touching the Mimesis Pest, or that it could crawl to and back from are at risk. It has a 3 in 6 chance of not being spotted while it spawns.

    Note that an object being magical in nature does not in any way prevent it from being spawned-with by a Mimesis Pest. The "original" is gone if this happens.

    In 6 days new Mimesis Pests begin their spawning cycles, dying naturally 6 days afterwards.

    Retrieved living beings that are in truth Mimesis Pests should be thought of like puppets on strings, not Doppelgangers. They lack minds, and interacting with them at all qualifies as "use".
  6. An arbitrary object appears in the place of the thing hidden. The referee should pick up the nearest text (if not game-related then a book, magazine, etc.), open it to a random page, and without looking place their finger on the text. Whatever object in that text that is nearest to their finger appears. The original thing hidden is gone.